I met the loving arms of God, and realised I don't believe Him to be loving and trustworthy. In reaction I have been deaf and dumb for three days, in a manner of (not) speaking.
Upon leaving Namibia I became a sick with ear infection. With my ears and body out of play God started showing up. Shutting the world out, and keeping my thoughts inside I was put in solitary confinement. It was me and God, and honesty between us.
Feeling the rejection I showed towards Him, I cried and cried out a lot. I came to know the healing power that starts in confession.
After two days of travelling I drove the minibus into out backpackers lodge two hours after sunset. I was exhausted yet sustained till the last moment. The next few days started with an unexpected blessing. One of the group wanted to bless me for a combo adventure of sliding, swinging and bungee jumping at Victoria Falls. I was shocked, I knew nothing of gift given without the expectation of return, or of undeserved gifts. Two major barriers in my life.
This was just the beginning of the barriers to be crossed on that day for the Victoria Falls had some awesome jewels. The slide was fairly easy but i still needed to practice to just to lay back and enjoy the mission with God. To follow the instructions and enjoy the ride right till the end. The swing was much more of a vertical and horizontal combination. Although deep is where I want to connect with God, wide is still where He wants me to see. There is much more enjoyment in taking the leap and enjoying the ride.
As for the bungee... This is hard core trust. By this time I was comfortable with the edge, the height and the emptiness between me and the raging water below. It was the out of control I was not ready for.
I received my the much needed forgiveness for ignoring God as my Father, and I also regained my ability to hear again. I also received the grace to honestly worship God again.
After that I have been struggling with my health and my finances. He asks our obedience above everything. Obedience is His language of love. In this He also asks transparency for His glory, thus in sharing my needs He was able to glorify Himself. God confirmed His character to me again as my Healer, Redeemer, all sufficient provider, Father and creator of every community, and the Only God to be worshiped.
O, to take the leap to find God to be true to who He says He is, and daring to want to know Him that way.
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